Day 2 : Number My Days

This verse has been pressing into my heart over the last year.

Moments of joy, distress, hopefulness, fear, love, thankfulness, awe - all add up to my one life.

Counting the days.

Tears welling mid-Happy Birthday at my first baby's first birthday. 365 days.

Puzzling blood test results during pregnancy with my second baby. Do I have less days than what I hope to have?

Noticing fine lines {can't call 'em wrinkles yet} around my mouth and eyes - 31 years of smiling.

Eighteen summers and less than 1,000 Saturdays with each boy. Two already gone with our first.

We are guaranteed only a certain amount of time and it goes by fast.

I love this verse because it calls us to the awareness that our days are numbered, not so that we may live in fear or anxiety, but so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Fear keeps us on a tight leash and wraps us in layers of bubble wrap. We end up paralyzed and constantly sweating the "what ifs". We trick ourselves into believing that life is actually happening within tiny confines of what we have deemed safe.

Wisdom releases us and breathes freedom like a silky sarong. We know there are limits and boundaries, but they move us toward community, trust, and generosity. We come to understand and believe that the value of our life is measured by what we give away, not what we hoard tightly in our hands. {Thanks, Andy Stanley.}

This distinction allows me to forgive myself when the laundry isn't finished or the dishes aren't done or the table isn't wiped off.

Fear questions, "What if someone shows up unexpectedly? What is your job if it isn't taking care of the house? Won't your husband be so irritated when he comes home from work and sees that you haven't done any work? What if he resents you? Look around - don't you just feel like a failure?"

Wisdom says, "Yes, these things need to get done because you have been gifted with such abundance. Yes, you need to manage them well. However, those two little boys are your highest priority, your greatest work - for it is them, not your laundry, who need you most."

Will I one day look back and be ashamed that it took two weeks to put a load of clothes on hangers and hang in the closet? No. I will forget about that by the end of the week. {'Cause there will be another load vying for my attention.}

Would I be ashamed that I chose to keep a constantly clean house over playing with PlayDo and water-color painting in the bathtub? Absolutely.

I want to look back on my days and be able to say that I spent them wisely.

How did you wisely spend your day?

Share with us on Twitter or Instagram - #notforgetting this.

Not forgetting this sweet morning snuggle.

Not forgetting a little monkey playing peekaboo in a cabinet.
I turned around and honestly had no idea where my child had gone.
Then this little voice says, "PeePie Mommy."

Not forgetting grabbing and throwing leaves in the front yard.
A warm October afternoon. A chat with our neighbors.

Not forgetting a baby, cozy on a blanket, on his six-week birthday.
Smiling and cooing at yellow-tinged leaves.